RGG – Date #2, Plus Some Other Stuff

RGG (Really Great Guy), Date #2

I had a fantastic “coffee date” with RGG and we agreed to go out again. This time we meet at a place that’s kind of “off the beaten path”. It’s a great casual restaurant on the water that is very easy to miss if you didn’t know it was there. I arrive on time and see that RGG is already at the bar and is engaged in conversation with the bartender. This is good – It gives me a chance to watch him talking to someone else. As I have said previously, I find that watching how someone interacts with other people can give you good insight into the kind of person they are. So for a few seconds I observe…..He is VERY charming and witty! The bartender is laughing at things he says and he is giving her his full attention. I think to myself “Wow, she seems to be enjoying their chat…Oh look, she is flipping her hair back when she laughs….Shit!!! I need to stop watching and get to the bar before I lose my date!!”

I saunter over to the bar (okay, I walk REALLY fast) and say hello. RGG smiles warmly and kisses my cheek (nice!). I order a beer and the date starts. Once again we fall easily into conversation. We share small bits and pieces of our respective marriages and their demise. I know, you are not supposed to bring things like that up on an early date but I think we are both at an age where past relationships are not a threat. Nor are they something to feel shame or embarrassment over. The past is how learn what we did wrong and (more importantly) what to do right.

The relationship talk segues into a chat about our families. I am thrilled to find out that he finds his family to be as crazy, overwhelming and amazing as I do mine! We swap some embarrassing childhood stories and laugh at how cool we thought we were when we were in our teens.

He then tells me he wants to take me to a  fairly exclusive beach club where his brother works. We can have a  “fancy” cocktail and maybe some food. I agree but am a bit reluctant because the “look” I chose for the date is a cross between “young bohemian” and “old hippie”! I am wearing jeans and a sheer flowy tunic with a a pair of beat up brown boots and bit of funky silver jewelry – not really “exclusive beach club” attire.

RGG assures me that I look fine, so  off we go.

We arrive at the club and “valet” his car. As we are walking up to the door we are chuckling about a Seinfeld episode which causes me to share my complete inability to “find the beat” when I dance. He asks me if it is as bad as Elaine’s dancing on Seinfeld and I tell him that it’s worse. I also tell him that this “affliction” seems to have attacked my sister as well. At this point we are laughing quite loud and don’t realize that we are now inside the club and being eyeballed by the staff at the front desk.

We manage to compose ourselves long enough to inform the maitre’d that we will be “retiring to the bar”. RGG also asks to see the manager who, it turns out, is his brother.

At the bar I order a “fancy” Lemon Drop Martini (Grey Goose of course) and RGG orders a “fancy” Gin and Tonic. We are given a menu which I lose total interest in because I have spotted a bowl of “fancy” nuts on the bar. As I look around this magnificent club which SCREAMS luxury, upper class and proper etiquette I suddenly get the giggles! I feel so out of place and SOOO middle class! What do I do? I turn to RGG and tell him exactly how I feel. He, being the really great guy he is, tells a totally tasteless joke. This, of course, brings out the “power laugh”.

The term “power laugh” is used by a good friend of mine to describe the type of laughter than can be heard miles away and can rupture the eardrums of anyone within a 50 foot radius. Of course the entire club is now staring at me as well as RGG’s brother who has chosen this moment to greet us – I always make such a great impression!!!

Luckily his brother has a sense of humor and chooses NOT to have me escorted from the place. We spend a few minutes chatting and it is easy to see that they are typical brothers. They alternate between insulting each other and singing each others praises. The genuine warmth between them is refreshing.

The brother needs to get back to work and RGG suggests that we take a walk by the pool to the private beach. It is another typically beautiful Florida evening. The air is filled with the scent of the ocean and the palm trees leading to the beach. The sound of waves breaking along with the balmy breeze relax and invigorate me all at once. I realize that RGG is uncharacteristically quiet. I am about to ask him if he is okay when he leans close and says softly “I’d like to kiss you”. Well…..who am I to say “no”!

RGG gives me a ride back to the lot where I left my car. Before I get out, he leans over to kiss me “good night”. The good night kiss leads into a sweet make out session that brings me back to my teenage years! We finally part ways and I smile all the way home. Will there be a third date??

Some Other Stuff #1

A lot of people have asked me if my blog is in “real time” and if it is in chronological order. The answer to both is “not really”.

I don’t rush home after a date and write up a post. I keep a pad and pen by my bed and scratch out a few notes when I get home. I also will take the opportunity, when my date goes to the restroom, to write things on the back of receipts and cocktail napkins. I will even run to the ladies room, call my own number and leave myself a voicemail if there is something I want to make sure I don’t forget.

Once a week (give or take) I will gather my notes and try to make some kind of sense of them.  I don’t like to post too quickly after a date. Taking a little time between the actual date and writing about it gives me some perspective. I can get a little “giddy” right after a good date only to realize as I am writing that the funny  comment he made (for example) about my laugh being “un-ladylike” was not funny, it was just mean!

Also, even though I started this blog as an outlet for my “adventures in dating”, I do have other things going on in my life and at times feel the need to write it down.

As for “chronological order”…..It depends on my mood. I just choose the notes that I feel like deciphering. If I’m in a good mood, I’ll pick something silly – If I’m down or blue, I’ll choose something more reflective. They could be notes from 4 days ago or 2 weeks ago. So when someone says “you had 3 dates this week? Wow!!”, I have to tell them that those dates occurred over the course of weeks.

Some Other Stuff #2

Here are some answers to other questions I have been asked…

Yes – These dates are all real.
No – I have NOT had sex with all of them!
Yes – I HAVE had sex (Sorry Mom!!)
Yes – I still see the “Harley Man”.
Yes – He knows about my blog but has no desire to read it.
No – I am not looking for someone to “take care of me”!
Yes – I do want to “settle down” someday.
Yes – I have been stood up a few times.
No – I don’t call and bitch at them. Not worth the effort.
I don’t know – In response to “how long will you keep this up”.

Happy Fishing!

~Annie

Back On Track

With the holidays and all the craziness that they bring (tears, anger, laughter, strange dates) behind me, I can finally get back to the true purpose of this blog. I had a few “almost dates” before the holidays and even a couple of real dates right in the middle. It’s time to take my notes from the back of receipts, cocktail napkins and the random messages I leave for myself on the phone and translate them into something readable and “blog-able”….here we go!

The Boy Who Cried “Date” – I received a “want to meet you” message from a guy I’ll call “Art”. I reviewed his profile and liked what I saw. He is a schoolteacher, very attractive, likes a good dive bar now and then, has two grown children and a weird fascination with Target (I also have a strange fascination with Target but it is not on my profile…This could be fate!!) I responded back and we agree on a time to chat online. The chat went very well. We talk about our kids, which is the best dive bar in the area and the strangeness of internet dating. He tells me that he has been divorced for almost a year and that his luck with dating has been poor. He has a great sense of humor and the best part is there are no spelling errors or abbreviations while we chat. After about 20 minutes we sign off with an agreement to chat again the next day….and we do – for four days in a row!

I finally decide to send him my phone number so we can actually talk. He calls me almost immediately and although he starts off a bit shy, we manage to have a nice conversation. Since I have been dating, I have lost all shyness so I ask him to meet for coffee. He agrees and we decide to meet the next evening. 15 minutes before we are supposed to meet, he calls and asks if we can re-schedule – he has papers to grade. No problem with me! I tell him to call when he is free. The next day he calls and we agree to meet at lunchtime….again he calls at the last minute to reschedule. Hmmm…..oookaay. He calls that evening and apologizes. He has been very busy with the holidays coming up but still REALLY wants to meet me. We talk on the phone for almost an hour – he makes me laugh and cry as he tells stories about his students. The conversation flows so freely that when he suggests another try at the coffee date (this time on a Saturday so there are no possible interruptions) I quickly agree. Guess what??? He cancels once again! This time instead of being my polite, sweet self I tell him that although it is only coffee this is the third cancellation…three strikes and you’re out! He begs forgiveness, he explains that he was reading and got so absorbed in the story that he lost track of time. I can actually relate to that – be a voracious reader myself, I have been known to put my nose in a book and all of the sudden 3 hours have gone by. He says he REALLY, REALLY wants to meet me and instead of coffee he wants to take me to lunch to make up for it can I meet him in a hour?? I say yes….but….

I don’t show up!! When he calls to ask where I am, I tell him about one of my favorite stories growing up……The Boy Who Cried Wolf. You can only cry “date” so many times (apparently 3 is the limit) before no one believes you!

The Serious Comedian – I come across the profile of a guy I’ll call “RGG” (for Really Great Guy). In his profile he describes himself as a bit of a “nerd” although his photos do not reflect that! He also is a child of the 80’s (very important to talk to someone who understands the impact of the movie “The Breakfast Club”) and describes himself as somewhat serious with a sarcastic sense of humor.

He seems really well rounded (not to mention good looking) so I send him a message. We exchange messages over the next few days. I really like his sense of humor and the fact that he seems grounded. I feel so comfortable that I actually tell him about my blog and for some crazy reason, he still wants to meet! We agree to meet at a great little tiki bar right on the water. I know, it’s supposed to be coffee for the first meeting but I am starting to develop a nervous tic from all of the caffeine and I don’t need anything else to add to my social awkwardness!

When I get there I panic for a second because either he didn’t show (a bad sign) or he looks nothing like his photo (a REALLY bad sign)! Thankfully the crowd at the bar parts and I see a very attractive man with gorgeous green eyes walking towards me wearing a big, inviting smile on his face. Okay….This is a very good start! We say hello and while he grabs us a couple of beers, I snag us a table on the beach. What started off very good is getting even better as we talk. He has a couple of kids that he obviously adores and takes his role as a father seriously. He is also VERY funny and gives me the hilarious details of a horrific date he had with a woman who showed up to meet him wearing pajama pants and a sweatshirt. I am practically crying when he tells me how she surprised him with a kiss not one, not two, but three times! I am having such a great time that I don’t realize that 2 hours have gone by. We decide to call it a night.

As we are walking to the parking lot he tells me he had a great time and I respond with my usual grace by saying “Really? You did?” In spite of that stupid comment, he asks for a second date and I accept.

Next post, The second date!

Happy Fishing - Annie~

My 2011 - The Cliff Notes/Facebook Version

 January – Happy New Year; 4^th Wedding Anniversary and still delirious with love; Family visiting; house on the market; puppies growing fast.

Facebook quotes January:

“The house feels soooo empty. I miss Rose and Jerry!”, “My husband should be canonized a saint for living with me voluntarily for so long....Happy Anniversary babe!!!” 

 February – House still on market; a birthday; beautiful weather; beautiful life

Facebook quotes February:

“Happy Birthday to my "old man".....I love you Pete!!”, “My life is now complete!!! Sweet mother of God...I have found true happiness - I will create a vegan version of this! (in response to Oreo stuffed choc chip cookies)”

March – Puppies getting big so it’s time to get them fixed; showing the house a lot; looking for a rental; happy times coming once we get this burden off our shoulders; niece coming back in May

Facebook quotes March:

“Hot guy getting a pedicure right next to me in the salon....i am not sure how l feel about this!”, “Harley in his tighty whities”

April –Potential buyer; Pete working a lot; tons of stress; lots of packing; pups are huge; working on bettering our lives; leave of absence for Pete

Facebook quotes April

“My husband is the bravest person I know.....Love you babe!”, “Finally some good news.....”

May –House sold; more packing; found a rental; Pete still very stressed; niece here for a visit; ER for Pete, just anxiety but something feels wrong; moving day (thank you niece!); Blue Haired Boys birthday – he gets lost; in new place for 2 days and the world comes crashing down around me; 20 years over in 20 seconds; unbelievable sadness

Facebook quotes May

“Can someone tell me what time the rapture is?? I want to get a pedicure just in case the "judgment" applies to the state of my toes”,“closing=relief”, “Don’t remember the last time i was this sad.....”; “Feeling hopeful….”

June –Utter chaos and turmoil; roller coaster ride; dental work; pain pain pain; counseling; confessions; Pete tells me loves me and wants it to work; does not try

Facebook quotes June

“I make such a good statistic, someone should study me now...”, “How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes I struggle to find any truth in your lies”, “How did I end up here??”

July –Last ditch effort; no success; Pete tells me he doesn’t love me anymore and hasn’t for a while; ask for divorce; paperwork filed; we are now roommates; move to guest room; need to move out; he wants to be friends; I don’t

Facebook quotes July

“how did this happen?”, “OK, I'm going off Facebook for a while.....It's a little too easy to air dirty laundry and I do not want to be that person. Ta ta for now.....” It is amazing to me how cruel some people are....” Came home to see the "for rent" sign on the house.....not sure how I feel”, “soooo tired! I don't know how much longer I can keep this up!”, “Feeling really sad tonight.....where did my inner strong chick go?? She needs to get her ass back here now”

August –Tore two ligaments day before moving out, moved out of old place and into new place in 4 hours (thank you Blue Haired Boy), scared, lonely, tired and angry; setting up house; telling myself and everyone else that I am ok (but I am not), Pete is “in love” and “happy for the first time in his life” – OUCH!; Insomnia; haven’t slept in weeks; all rational thinking is gone; major meltdown; cry for DAYS; support from the Blue Haired Boy, the Red Head and family gets me through; niece in town; feeling not so scared

Facebook quotes August

“Time to move again! Hope my elephant foot cooperates.....”, “Ok....now what??”, “Dear insomnia, F@#K YOU!”, “Easing my pain one vegan chocolate cupcake at a time..”,“When does it get easier”

September– New outlook; niece is here – thank God for her silliness, love and kindness; new tattoo; feeling a bit raw and exposed; feeling strangely calm; feeling ready for something; family is amazing – buy me a ticket home; court date set; it’s really happening

Facebook quotes September

“Family time = love and laughs!”, “Nobody puts baby in a corner!”, “My family rocks!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I will see you all soon”, “Feeling a little blue tonight so take out from Mi Pueblo and a really bad scary with Ben Spooner to chase those blues away....”, “Smile pretty and watch your back....”, “Here we go again....just once I would like to get screwed and actually enjoy it...”

October –D-day; Sad but hopeful; Thank you Rose – you kicked me in the ass when I needed it and offered a shoulder to cry on; moving forward; dating – really; Visiting family – much needed smothering, overwhelming and beautiful love; cry on the plane heading home to FLA

Facebook quotes October

“How long till my soul gets it right Can any human being ever reach that kind of light”,“Do you think it's ok to wear a red dress to my divorce hearing?”, “Aaaand done”, “Worst. Date. Ever.”, “Family and friends....sooo good for the soul”

November– Stronger but still a little scared; dating is strange, weird and fun – think I’ll write about it, a beautiful surprise in a leather vest; opening up to people – expanding my world; a great ride; a perfect kiss; a perfect gentleman; lots of tears on Thanksgiving – then lots of food, wine, love and laughs with the Blue Haired Boy; more rides; more bad dates; more rides; meet the trucker; life is feeling ok; it’s all good

Facebook quotes November

“Just spent 30 minutes doing my hair and then realized i will be spending the next couple of hours on the back of a Harley!!”, “Me + 4 hours sleep equals a very tired and happy Anne”, “That's right bitch, I eat my vegan cupcake with a spoon!! No frosting will be left behind”, “Ok folks, I am going to try my hand at this blogging thing. Be kind!”, “Had an amazing time with Harley man!”, “Ben is thankful for the following: beer, his mom, shorts in November and turkey”

December– 45^th Birthday – Oh shit!, buy a mini skirt and leggings – rock them with boots on my birthday; birthday surprise; vegan chocolate cake; bacon; earrings; more dates – some actually good; Harley Man; Christmas becomes just another day; hot tubs; football; kind eyes and good hands; it’s gonna be ok!

Facebook quotes December

“Bacon....nuff said”, “Less than 10 hours left of being 44! Eeeeek!!”, “This is what 45 looks like!”, “all i need is my leather,
one t-shirt and two socks, i'll keep my hands warm in your pockets and we can use the engine block”, “Football with friends.....nuff said”, “Christmas, Florida style.... — with Ben Spooner.”, “Finally getting to spend some time with an old friend...it's been too long!!!”, “Well the night's bustin' open, these two lanes will take us anywhere We got one last chance to make it real To trade in these wings on some wheels Climb in back, heaven's waiting down on the tracks”